Welcome to Jokes for Teachers

Short Teacher Jokes (Submitted by Mark L)

Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No, teacher I'm having trouble listening!

Teacher: Why were you late?
Student: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too!

Teacher: When you yawn, your supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What ?, and get bitten!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there, what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?

Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Teacher: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school!

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much!

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

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