Our teacher talks to herself; does yours?
Yes, but she doesn't realise it; she thinks we're actually listening!

Teacher: Why didn't you answer me?
Pupil: I did; I shook my head.
Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here, do you?

Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off.
Pupil: You have my permission !

Teacher: Will you stop looking at the clock at the wall and pay attention ?
Pupil: Time will pass, but will you?

I didn't do my homework because I lost my memory .
When did this start?
When did what start?

The brain is a wonderful thing .
Why do you say that ?
Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class !

When I was your age; I thought nothing of walking 5 miles to school .
I agree, I don't think much of it myself!

Be sure that you go straight home .
I can't; I live just round the corner!

Playing truant from school is like a credit card .
Fun now, pay later!

Laugh and the class laughs with you.
But you get detention alone!

Teacher: When you yawn, you're supposed to put your hand to your mouth!
Pupil: What, and get bitten?

Teacher: You aren't paying attention to me. Are you having trouble hearing?
Pupil: No teacher, I'm having trouble listening!

Teacher: Why were you late?
Pupil: Sorry, teacher, I overslept.
Teacher: You mean you need to sleep at home too?!

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!

Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there; what are you taking for it?
Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me?

Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel well
Father: Where don't you feel well?
Son: In school !

Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn't you?
Pupil: Not very much !

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football .
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it!

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!

Father: How do you like going to school?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!