submitted by TeacherPlanet Member

Now, children,' said the teacher as the school party was about to board the Channel ferry. `What do we say if one of the pupils falls into the sea?'
Up went Fred's hand. Pupil overboard, sir!'
Very good,' said the teacher.
`And what do we say if one of the teachers falls into the sea?'
'It depends which teacher it is, sir.'

Angela was telling her aunt about her school trip to Switzerland. Her aunt had never been to there. `What's the scenery like?' she asked.
`Oh, I couldn't see much because of all the mountains,' replied Angela.

DAD: How did you enjoy your school trip to the seaside, son?
FRED: OK, Dad, but a crab bit my toe.
DAD: Which one?
FRED: Dunno. All crabs look alike to me.

Did you go on your school trip today?
Yes.
Which was the best bit?
Going home.

The school teacher and his class finally arrived at the airport after a long, fraught coach trip, ready to catch their flight to Switzerland for the skiing holiday.
`Oh dear, I wish I'd brought my piano,' sighed Jimmy.
`Whatever for?' asked his teacher.
`I left my plane ticket on it!' Jimmy told him.

Why did one school trip take longer than the other, yet they were going .to the same place and started out at the same time?
One coach was going faster than the other one.

Mum, I need a ladder for school.
Why?
Our teacher said we were going on a climbing holiday.

On a trip to the art gallery, a teacher was annoyed to see a boy slapping a statue. He marched over and demanded,
`Why are you slapping that statue?'
'Because the gallery attendant told me to beat it,' replied the boy.

A young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the delights of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert at the Royal Albert Hall. To make the occasion even more memorable she treated everyone to lemonade, cakes, chocolates and ice cream. Just as they were getting back into the coach to go home, she said to little Sally, `Have you enjoyed yourself today?'
'Oh yes,' said Sally. `It was lovely except for the music, that is!'