TEACHER : What kind of birds do you find in captivity?
Billy : Jailbirds !
TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Billy : Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ?
Billy : Twins !
TEACHER : What's the longest word in the English language ?
Billy : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters !
TEACHER : I despair, Billy, how do you manage to get so many things wrong in a day ?
Billy : Because I always get here early sir !
TEACHER : What do we do with crude oil ?
Billy : Teach it some manners !
TEACHER : I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Billy : Life imprisonment !
TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Billy : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon ?
Billy : Australia, you can see the Moon at night !
TEACHER : Billy, can you find me Australia on the map please ?
Billy : There it is
TEACHER : Now, Billy, who discovered Australia ?
Billy : I did ! !
TEACHER: Why do you have so much trouble answering my questions?
Billy: If it was easy for me, I wouldn't be in school!
TEACHER: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?
Billy: 12! January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ...
TEACHER: Billy, which month has 28 days?
Billy: Every month!
TEACHER: Billy,name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Billy: Me!
Billy: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Billy: Because of absence
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Billy: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
Mother: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you?
Billy: You said it was my lunch money.
TEACHER: Billy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Billy: Me!
TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
Billy: No, I'm Billy Anderson.
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
Billy: Seven.
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
Billy: Nine.
TEACHER: That's impossible.
Billy: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
TEACHER: Billy, why do you always get so dirty?
Billy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.
Billy: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
TEACHER: Of course not.
Billy: Good, because I didn't do my homework.
